This Ain’t It

flower thru crackSo I got stuck at work on New Years, which wouldn’t have been so bad if….I don’t even know. It’s all bad. All of it. The universe has a way of dropping bombs on you to MAKE you move. To MAKE you change something…NOW. There is always a moment that happens, you never know when it’s going to happen or how or even what is going to happen, but you know it when it happens. It’s that “this is bullshit” moment that helps you make that decision you’ve been wavering over. It’s that “oh, hell no” event that forces you to move on. You may think it’s a sucker punch, but it’s not. You saw it coming. You could feel it on the evening breeze. You just refused to acknowledge it. You thought it would work itself out. That it would just go away. But it didn’t. It sat and waited. Under pressure. Slowly building steam. Bubbling beneath the surface until the surface started to crack just a little. But a little is all it needed to seep in and start to swallow you bit by bit.  Then one day it rears it’s head and laughs at you.

Suddenly you realize…you shouldn’t be here. That dream you were waiting for? This ain’t it. That life you planned on? This ain’t it. You’ve overstayed your welcome in this place. You have outgrown this place. It’s time to move on. You feel boxed in. Suffocated. Drowning. Buried. Dying so slow you don’t even know it.

But wait. This is not necessarily a  bad thing. This “fucked up” moment serves a purpose.  It’s there to remind you that you are not where you are supposed to be. It reminds you that you need to keep moving because you are too comfortable. You have become complacent. It’s letting you know that something is wrong and you need to fix it now. Right now. Not someday. Not when you get a chance. Not when you have the money or the time. But now. Within this time span.
Now it may happen on a big night like New Years (to drive the point home deeper) or it may happen on any given Tuesday (when you’re catching up on Scandal). But it doesn’t matter. It still hits you like a brick and your a-ha moment is bad enough to make you cry. But it’s ok. Because messages like these are truth and the truth hurts, especially if you ain’t living it.
So what will you learn from this “forehead slapping” moment? That just like your mama, the universe has a way of catching you when you ain’t doing right.



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